So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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