BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
