I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
