The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
home. puking in laundry basket.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
