Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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