You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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