i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
