Sry I called you an 8
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize