i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
