i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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