you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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