So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
