dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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