New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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