guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
