How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
