I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
