I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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