I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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