I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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