Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
