When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
