Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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