I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
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Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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