just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was born a porn star she said
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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