No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
