there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind