PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
