apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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