You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize