ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize