The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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