I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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