She announced her abortion via fbk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
