I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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