Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
