I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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