So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize