Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
