You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
