my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
