He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize