Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
only you would photoshop your dick
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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