i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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