Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I forget how to act sober
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