Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
