none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho