Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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