did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow