You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?