I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize