I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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