meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize