She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
