he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
