I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize