told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
