I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize