You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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