Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
